2009
This year's Guizer Jarl was Euan Henderson from Torvaug in Gloup. Euan took on the role of Floke Vilgerdersson for the event. Euan o Gloup was a formiddable viking, very strong and hairy. The Tup fae Gloup and his squad were full of life everywhere they went, and accompanied by their band of musicians, they were rarely without song. The music and the life of the squad were just some of the reasons this year's festival was a roaring success.
Euan's Jarl Squad:
- Leslie Tulloch [Ceilidh] (Ex Jarl)
- Martin Henderson [Lerwick] (Future Jarl)
- Robert Williamson [Camb]
- Shaun Clark [Aywick]
- Ryan Odie [Burravoe]
- Sonny Priest [Unst]
- Stuart Dorish [West Sandwick]
- Raymond Henderson [Emohruo]
2009 Proclamation:
WIR JARL DECREES THAT GUIZERS WILL REPORT IN GOOD TIME TO COLLECT THEIR TORCHES AND START THE PROCESSION FROM THE HALL AT 7.30 PM.
WIR JARL A THIRD GENERATION GLOUP VIKING WILL BE GUARDING THE COAST DA NIGHT INCASE O’ ANY STUPID DISASTERS, HIS GALLEY WILL DECKED WE HANDY WORK AN WILL FERRY HIS SQUAD FAE BALTASOUND TA LERWICK PICKIN UP ALONG DA WAY HIS BUSTA LASS WILL HAY RATED HIM A FIRST CLASS MAIL.
WELCOME ALL AN COME IN ABOOT, AN ENJOY DA FUN WE WIR JARL DA TUP
PLEASE DUNNA GIRN IF YOUR ON DA BILL, HIT’S JUST A FUN, WE MEAN NAE ILL
AN WHEN DA SQUADS IR OWER AN DON, KLICK YOUR HEELS TA IAN ANDERSON.
A LOCAL BUILDER MADE FOR SOOTH, A FOOTBALL MATCH TO SEE
WE SUPPORTERS ALL AROOND ABOOT, FULL O’ MIRTH AN GLEE
ALAS ALAS WHAN DEY GOT DERE DEY HED TA BID FAREWELL
AN PACK DIR TAILS ATWEEN DIR LEGS AN HEED BACK HOME TAE YELL.
WE ALL WENT ON A TREASURE HUNT, YOUNG AND OLD WERE TOO
BUT SOME WERE HIDDEN ARTFULLY WELL AWAY FROM PUBLIC VIEW
CARS APPEARED AROUND HER HOUSE SHE KNEW NOT WHAT WAS ON
BUT TO BE SAFE AN GUARD HERSEL SHE WENT STRAIGHT ON DA PHONE.
DA CORNER POST ROTTEN AN DAT SHOULDNA BE FORGOTTEN
HE GLEPPIT HIS SUPPER AN MADE FUR DA FERRY, FUR HE KENT HE HED TA BE UP EARLY
HE JAMP IN HIS OWN VAN BUT ONE THING HE DID NEGLECT, WAS WHERE ABOUTS DA CAR WAS O’ DA JARL ELECT
UNBEKNOWN TO HIM HE WAS FAST IDA FENCE, WHICH NOBODY KENT O’ FOR OOR’S
WHEN WIR JARL CAME OOT TA LOOK ROOND ABOOT, POOR MARTINS CAR WAS COVERED IN CLOORS.
DA SOOTH ROD IS WORTHY O’ A MENTION AS IT TRULY NEEDS SOME GREAT ATTENTION
IT’S NARROW AN IT’S SPONGEY TOO, ITS FOUNDATION IS SOAKING THROUGH AN THROUGH
SOME DAY IT MIGHT ALL BE SORTED OOT WE DIGGERS TRUCKS AN CRANES
WHEN JABBA COMES BACK WE HIS MUCKLE TRUCK TA TAK UP ALL DA DRAINS.
DA GAS WAS LEAKIN BADLY WHAN HE SET TAE TA SMOK
DA REEK WAS ROOND DA CROSS BAULK AN WHEN HE LOOKED UP WHAT A SHOCK
WE’LL HAY TA PHONE DA FIRE BRIGADE AN SEE WHAT DAY CAN DO
AFORE ME TWARTREE SMOKIES END UP ITILL A STEW.
DA MOBILE PHONES WERE CLICKIN FAE CULLIVOE TA SKAW
FOR DA WEDDING PERTY IT WAS ALL GO, DEY WIR HERTY EEN AN AWE
DIR WAS REVELLERS OOT BACK HOME IN YELL, WI A PLOT NO ONE SHOULD TELL
FILLIN DA HOOSE WE BOXES IT WAS A JOKE NO DOOT
BUT ONE O’DA CREW SLIPPET UP AN LET DA SECRET OOT.
DIR TEACHERS HERE AN TEACHERS DERE, DEY COME FAE NEAR AN FAR
WIR HEAD WAS EVEN LEFT WAN NIGHT IN CHARGE O’ BEENKY’S CAR
WE LEFT DA ROD AN SOON FOUND OUT THAT HE HADN’T GOT A CLUE
FOR THE FAMOUSE GROUSE WAS WE HIM AN HE WAS DRIVIN TOO
MY GRITTY DAY’S ARE OVER, MY TRUCKIN DAYS ARE DONE
IT’S TIME TO LEAVE THE HIGHWAYS WHAN YOU TURN SIXTY ONE
IT’S TIME TO TAKE IT EASY WHAN YOUR SPIRITS CAN GET NO HIGHER
DAT’S WHY I’M SO (G)KIBBIE TA SIT BY DA TELLY WE ME FEET UP TAE DA FIRE.
WHAN GOIN OOT TA SEA WITH YOUR CREW, A GUARDIAN ANGELL YOU’DE NEED TO LOOK AFTER YOU
FAE EAST TA WEST IS A VERY THIN LINE, DA WRONG SIDE WILL LAND YOU A GREAT BIG FINE.
IF UPON DA BUS AT GUTCHER, YOU SOMETIMES HAVE TO WAIT
YOU NEED NOT START TO PANIC OR GET IN TO A STATE
FOR DA DICKIE BIRDS WERE ALL FLUTTERING IN DIR QUARRY SHED
ALL DA TOONSHIP WAS IN A STEW O’ WHIT A MESS DEY’DE MADE
DA FEDDIR BIRD WAS ROOSTIN BUT HIS WINGS GOT IN A TWIST
HE HIT DA FLOOR AN CHIRPED OOT LOUD “I TINK I’VE BROKEN ME WRIST”.
DIR NO KYE OR MACHINERY NOO, I JOOST HAE TWARTREE LAMBS
I’M DAT TAEN UP WE DA COASTGUARD AN SITTIN STIFF EXAMS
AL SOON BE A FERRY SKIPPER IF JIM CAN STAND ME PRANKS
WHICH LAVES ME LITTLE TIME TA CUDDLE ME GOOD WIFES WARM FLANKS.
THING’S WE’DE LIK TA KEEN :-
DID SHE SHOCK ON HER YORKIE BAR TA SEND HER IDA HILL?
DID EUAN GET STONED AT DIR WEDDING?
IS JAMES JOHN TAKING THE RAP FOR FLOKKE’S POOR DRIVIN?
DOES STRAWBERRY WINE GET THE BLAME FOR EVERYTHING?
HAS GOSSAWATER’S PIPEDREAM COME TRUE OR IS BURRAVOE’S BEEN RUINED?
DEFACERS OF OUR BILL SHALL BE STONED, TUPPED
THEN TEDDIRED ON DA HOLM!
BY ORDER AND UNDER SEAL OF THE GUIZER JARL.
EUAN B. T. HENDERSON
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