2001

Steven's Jarl Squad:

• Robert Thomson [Uphouse, Sellafirth] (Ex Jarl)
• Campbell Dickie [Gerdalok]
• Hubert Dickie [Gerdalok]
• Ian Anderson [Brekness]
• Kevin Tulloch [Gronadjeld]
• Laurence Tulloch [Gutcher]

2001 Proclamation:

WIR JARL IS A TRUCKIN’ FINE FELLOW WHO WILL BE THE DRIVING FORCE BEHIND TONIGHTS FESTIVAL. HE WILL LEAD THE PREMIER SQUAD OF BHOYS AND PARK THE HEAD OF THE PROCESSION. WE WILL NOT HEAR A DICKIE BIRD OR CATTY COMMENTS ABOOT HIS BAIRNS CHESTERING OR BOBBING AROUND IN DA’ RANKS.

IT FILLS WIS AA WI’ DELIGHT TAE SEE SAE MONY HERE DA’ NIGHT. WIR SQUAD’S WI’ STEVEN IN COMMAND, WILL DANCE TAE SANDY LEGGAT’S BAND. WE’LL HAE DA BEST SPREE DAT WE CAN, TO MARK WIR FESTIVAL IN 2001.

I’M JUST AN OLD HORSE NEAR DA END ‘O’ ME DAYS, I CAME NORTH TO JOIN IN THIS HORSE KEEPING CRAZE.
NOO GRAZING IS SOMETHING I’M DESPERATELY NEEDING, THOUGH MY OWNER NEVER GIES UP WI HER SEEKING.
BUT DIS RIDING IS SOMETHING THAT MAK’S ME SEE RED, SO I KICKED AFF MY RIDER AND STEPPED ON HER HEAD.

WHAN DRIVING PAST BASTA BEWARE ‘O’ DA SHEEP, OR OWER DA WHITE LINE YOUR CAR HIT MIGHT CREEP.
IN A HARRY TAE GIT AFORE HE MET PLOD, NEVEW AWAAR ‘O’ DA BIKE DAT CAM’ IN HIS ROD.

ACROSS ON DA’ DOON I’DA SOOTH EAST, DEY ADVERTISED FUR FOK TAE COME DERE WI’ HASTE.
BIT MAN HIS SELL GOT DA’ BLEEM FIR HIS NEED, FIR A CROFT DAT SOME LOCALS PAT DOON IS JUST GREED.

DEY LORRIED IT NORTH TRUCK EFTER TRUCK, BUT A MAN FAE DA COUNCIL CONDEMNED IT AS BRUCK.
HE SAID IT WIS DICKIE AN’ REALLY NO FINE, SO DEY DUG IT ALL UP AN’ GOT STUFF FAE DA MINE.

NOW RAYMOND AND JIM SET OOT ON A VENTURE BOLD, TO CATCH SOME CRABS TO FILL THE BOAT’S HOLD.
BUT WHEN HAULING THEIR CREELS AT BASTANESS, A SPRICKLING TURTLE HAD MADE A GREAT MESS.
WHAT ELSE COULD THEY DO BUT TOW IT ASHORE, DAT POOR OWLD TING HE NEVER SWAM NO MORE.

A GOOD BOOK’S BEEN PUBLISHED ON BUSES I’DA PAST, IT’S TEEN YEARS TAE WRITE BUT FEENISHED AT LAST.
IT SEEMS AWFUL SAD AN’ REALLY NO FAIR, DA’ POOR AUTHOR’S LAST
TRANSPORT’S BEEN A WHEELCHAIR.

AT DA’ END ‘O’ NEEST MONTH PETER AND DAN WILL RETIRE, BUT WILL IDDER ‘O’ DEM SIT WI’ DIR FEET AT DA FIRE?
RAYMOND, KEVIN, JOHNNIE AND ALI, IS TAKIN’ OWER FAE DEM EFTER DIR FINALE.

DA JARL’S AN EXAMPLE ‘O’ WHIT DA BAIRN’S WILL GET, AT DA’ SCHOOL CANTEEN LAID UP ON DIR PLATE,
AS YOU CAN SEE WI’ DA LIKELY ‘O’ HIM, DIR NO MUCH CHANCE ‘O’ YOUR BAIRN’S GROWING UP SLIM.

IT’S LONESOME AWAY FROM YOUR KINDRED AND OLD, VITH DA’ HORSES AN’ MARES TUCKED AWAY IN DA FOLD,
BUT WI’ COLLACK AN’ SHODDING YOU MUST BE ALL SET, TA’ PICK UP DA’ MOBILE AN’ FHON’ FUR DA’ VET.

WHEN HIS WARK UP IN UNST CAM’ TAE AN END, HIS REDUNDANCY ON A PUB HE TOWT HE WID SPEND.
OOT FUR A PINT OR ON SOME KIND ‘O’ A DODGE, DIR AYE A WARM WELCOME AT THE HILLTOP LODGE.

DA’ YELL SHOW’S RENOWNED FUR IT’S ENTRIE EACH YEAR, FOLK GADDER ANIMALS AN’ CRAFTS FAE NEAR AN FAR,
EFTER LAST PRESENTATION SOME FOLK STARTED TO SING, BUT ARNOT
REALISING DAT A BAR’S NO’ A BOXING RING.

NOW THE PIER IS SO PRETTY, IT COULD NOW BE A CITY, SOME DAY WE HOPE IT WILL SOON ALL BE OUR OWN.
WITH THE FAMILY BEAMING, AND THE PARTY TIMES SCREAMING, MORE MUSSELS, MORE MUSSELS, ALIVE ALIVE OH!

THANK GOD NOO AT LAST DA’ SELLANESS CREW, HAS GEEN UP ON WAN AN’ DIR GOIN’ TA BIG TWO.
IF DAED’ SEEN SENSE FAE DA’ START AS AABODY KENT, WAN REALLY COULD A’ BEEN BIGGIT WI’ DA’ MONEY DIR SPENT.

WHEN YOU GO FOR YELLSOUND AN’ IT’S WINDY AN’ DAMP, HOMEWARD BOUND YOU TINK’ WHAN YOU LAVE DA’ TAFT RAMP.
YOUR OUTRAGED OR DISMAYED EVEN DOWNHEARTED, TRUCKING FUR AN’ HOUR AN’ GET BACK WHERE YOU STARTED.

EFTER MONTHS ‘O’ RUMOUR AN’ STORIES AS WELL, THE  S.N.F.F. WIS GIONG UP FOR SALE,
NOO DAT IT’S THROUGH AND IT’S ALL BEEN SOLD, WILL LONG PETRIE BE WORTH HIS HEIGHT IN GOLD.

FOLK MIGHT TINK’ RICHARD AND IAN’S GOTTEN IN TOO DEEP, WI’ DA LATEST ADDITION TO THEIR INSHORE FLEET.
TO SAY HOW SHE’LL FISH DA’ FUTURE’S UNCLEAR, WILL SHE BE LIKE DA’ CONTEST LYING TIED TAE DA’ PIER.

A SMOK’ ALARM’S A THING WE SHOULD ALL HAE, FIR MONY’S DA’ TIME ITS SAVED DA’ DAY.
A FIRE CAN EASILY START WI’ MATCHES IN CHARGE ‘O’ A LOON, SPINNER WID NEED ALARMS UPSTAIRS AN’ DOON.

DA’ MAN DAT BUILT DA’ CULLIVOE PIER YOU’LL ALL AGREE, LEFT A GOOD JOB IT’S A PLEASURE TA’ SEE.
ALAS DIR NO DA’ SAM’ CAN BE SAID, ABOOT HIS NAVIGATION, DEEP SEA, WI’ A BUMP ON HIS HEAD.

STANDING BY THE ROADSIDE WAITING FOR A BUS, IF YOU HAE NO BUS SHELTER JUST YOU KICK UP A FUSS,
BUT IF YOU HAE ONE AN’ DUNNA USE IT, OR FILL IT UP WI’ HAY, DA COUNCIL MAY JUST COME ALONG AN’ TAK’ IT ALL AWAY.

A GRAVE DIGGERS JOB MUST BE MORBID AND DREAR, BUT IT CAN HOT UP AT DA ULSTA SHOP PIER,
WHEN A REID LORRY COME’S BACKIN’ OOT FAE DA’ PUMP, AN’ LEC A FLASH YOUR PICKUP’S READY FUR DA’ DUMP.

? DOES DA’ CHIEF MARSHALL FALL IN LOVE WI’ HIS MARRIAGE GUIDANCE JOB
? WAS ROBERT’S RIBS A PAINFULL FISHING TRIP
? WAS LAWRENCE CHANGE OF SQUAD A CLOSE SHAVE.

DEFACERS OF OUR BILL WILL BE CATSTRATED AND JOIN ROADMENS PARTY

BY ORDER AND UNDER SEAL OF THE GUIZER JARL
STEVEN HENDERSON

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