1997
This year's Guizer Jarl was Colin Nicholson from Midbrake. Colin took on the role of Kol Kalison for this year's festival.
Colin's Jarl Squad:
- Brian Nicolson [Houll] (Ex Jarl)
- David Henry [Haa o Houlland] (Future Jarl)
- Neil Nicholson [Midbrake]
- Hubert Dickie [Gerdalok]
- Kevin Sutherland [Gulberwick]
1997 Proclamation:
GUIZERS REPORT AT BURNSIDE AT 7.30PM
OUR JARL A FIT AND BRAWLY ABLE VIKING, WILL STEER HIS SHIP A MID BREAKING WAVES ON MUSTERING AT BURNSIDE, WHERE THERE ARE NO BRICK WALLS, HE WILL BE ON A SURE, SAFE AND SOUND FOOTING. (LET’S HOPE HE WON’T GET PLASTERED)
WELCOME AGAIN, TO UP-HELLY-AA, WE HOPE YOU’RE IN CHEER,
TO MAKE DIS A SPECIAL NIGHT, IN DIS WIR 40TH YEAR.
WI COLIN AS WIR JARL, AND DA FUSTRA FOR DA DANCES,
SHAKE IT UP, AND HAE SOME FUN, WI’ SHETLAND REELS AND LANCERS.
YOUNG ANGUS HE GOT IN A PLIGHT,
WHEN HE GUID OOT WI’ HIS PALS ON DA SKITE,
HE SAID HE WAS DARED,
BUT ENDED UP CHARGED,
FOR PINCHIN’ DA POLICE CAR’S BLUE LIGHT
NOO DAVID HE HAS LOTS ‘O’ JOBS, HE’S MOSTLY ON DA FERRY,
BUT WHEN HE HAS HIS DAYS AFF, DAN HE’S GROWIN’ STRAWBERRIES.
HE’S PITTEN UP THREE TUNNELS, AND FILLED THEM FOO O’ PLANTS.
SO I’DA SUMMER, HE MAKES SURE,DAT FOR FRUIT, WE NEVER WANT.
A YOUNG BOY MET A BONNY LASS AT UP HELLY AA, AN’ SO HE ASKED HER OOT,
BUT DEY GUID I’DA STANK, SOME WAY JUST SOUTH O’GLOUP.
WHAT DID IT MATTER, DEY WERE HAVING SO MUCH FUN,
WHEN THEY GOT INTERUPTED, WI’ BIG BROTHER AND HIS MUM.
DEY ARE CRASHED CARS, BASHED CARS, FEW O’DEM DAT STARTS,
HEADLIGHTS, EXHAUST PIPES, WHEELS AN’ IDDER PARTS,
FORD VANS, OLD VANS, AN’ EENS DAT CANNA’ STEER,
AN’ IN AMONG YOU’LL FIN, A PEERIE ENGINEER.
DA’ ELA COMPETITION, IS’A GOOD SPREE, PLENTY O’WANDS, PLENTY O’MALEE,
IF YOU STAY, OR IF YOU GO, AT ANDY GEAR’S PEATS, KEVIN GO SLOW.
THE VANDAL ON FETLAR, THEY COULD’NA CATCH,
SO THEY SET UP A NEIGHBOURHOOD WATCH.
THE POLICE WERE CALLED, AND THE C.I.D,
THEY’D BE BETTER OFF, WITH YOU OR ME.
JASON TOOK DA’ FACTORY TRUCK, LAID WILBERT’S MARE IN UTTER BRUCK,
HE BIGGED HIS HOUSE, CRASHED DA CAR IN ALL,
DAN HE BUTTED ANGUS IN DA NORTH-A-VOE HALL.
............THINGS WE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW!!!!
WILL MALCOLM BE GREEN AT JOHN’S NEW LIFE OF LEISURE +REC IN SOUTH YELL?
IS “SIX DAYS ON THE ROAD” WAYNE’S FAVOURITE SONG?
WOULD ANYONE LIKE TO HAVE TIME TO SHARE IN BRITISH TELECOM PRIZES?
WILL THOSE ON THE HILL, TOP THE MID-YELL HALL, WHEN IT COMES TO LICENCES?
ARE WE HAVING NO MORE SALES ON THE ALTAIRE, INCASE THEY “COOPER”?
WHO WAS MARVILOUS AS SANTA, AND ENDED UP AS PORTLAND BILL?
THE NIGHT WAS DARK, THE WIND IT DID BLOW, A BIG HEADED SKIPPER TO FETLAR DID GO,
THE ‘DICKIE’ BREAKWATER, WAS AS SOUND AS A ROCK, TILL KEITH DEMOLISHED IT WI’DA FIVLA’S PROP.
PUNCHES THROWN IN THE BARREL STORE, ROWING RACES MAY BE NO MORE,
LOTS A’ NOSES WERE OUT OF JOINT, JAWS WERE STRETCHED TO BREAKING POINT.
BUT THE FIGHTING WAS ALL IN VAIN, TOWRIESS ENDED UP IN ABERDEEN IN PAIN.
THE HEATHERBELLE WAS FAROE BOUND, UP AND DOWN THE BLUEMULL SOUND.
BOUGHT NEW NETS AND GOT NEW CHARTS, THEN THE WHOLE THING WENT IN’A “RATTLE O’FARTS”.
JAMIESONS BUS SET OFF FOR IRELAND, WITH THE YELL FOOTBALL TEAM ON BOARD,
THE FANS WERE SOME DELIGHTED WHEN A GOAL WAS SCORED.
ALTHOUGH THEY DID’NA WIN, THERE WAS PLENTY BEER TO SUP,
WE HOPE NEXT TIME THEY GO, THEY’LL COME BACK WI’ THE CUP.
DEFACERS OF OUR BILL WILL BE RINGED AND MADE TO CONSULT WITH TRAVEL AGENTS BEFORE BEING
TAKEN TO GLOUP BY FIAT PANDA WHERE THEY WILL BE HOISTED UP A MAST AND KEPT THESE UNTIL
THEY GET A BETTER RECEPTION.
BY ORDER AND UNDER THE SEAL OF THE GUIZER JARL
COLIN NICOLSON
