1985
This year's Guizer Jarl was Andrew Nisbet from Keldahoul. Andrew was the last Jarl in the old hall, which is now used as the galley shed.
Andrew's Jarl Squad:
- George Gunn [Police House] (Ex Jarl)
- Gilbert Tulloch [Hillend] (Future Jarl)
- Malcolm Fraser [Whitehouse]
- Duncan Fraser [Whitehouse]
1985 Proclamation:
ALL GUIZERS REPORT TO BURNSIDE AT 8PM
WIR JARL A CAPTAIN IS BETTER EXPERIENCED TO PILOT A LONGSHIP MASTERING ALL DIFFICULTIES WHEN ENTERING ANY PORTS AND HARBOURS, OBEYING ALL NEW ORDERS FROM THE UP-HELLY-AA COMMITTEE WHICH MAY BE SET OUT IN A GREEN PAPER CANTANKEROUS THOUGH THEY BE. OUR JARL WILL TAK' HIS GALLEY OFF LINS, SAY IT HE CAN TEACH HER WEST O' ORKNEY. GUIZERS HOPE TOMORROW NIGHT WONT BE A SOULLOM OCASSION.
OUR ANNUAL WELCOME WE NOW EXTEND, WITH GREETINGS AT THIS YOUR JOURNEYS END. SO NOW ENJOY IT ONE AND ALL, YOUR LAST FESTIVAL IN THIS OLD HALL. NEXT YEAR WE'E'L GO ONE BETTER STILL, A NEW ESTABLISHMENT ON WAABRIG HILL, ALL WILL BE COMPLETE BY THEN, A COMPLIMENT TO WILLIE NISBET AND HIS MEN.
DUSTMAN SETS OFF MAROON. WHAT A PEEFORMANCE!!!
GIBBY HAD NO M.O.T. SO HE GOT A VAN FAE CLIFF WHITNEY, AND TO THE MAINLAND WITHOUT A FEAR, HE THOUGHT IT HE WIS IN DA CLEAR. BUT AT A POLICE CHECK TO HIS DESPAIR, HE SAW THERE WAS NO LICENSE DERE, AN' DAN TO COMPLETE DIR NIGHT, DEY CATCHED JANETTE WI JUST ONE LIGHT.
MARGARET'S DRIVING IS HED IT'S HITCHES, FAE MEETING CARS TAE GOING IN DITCHES. SO AT DA MOARFIELD ROAD TA SAVE DA FUSS, SHE JUMPED DA STANK BUT HIT DA BUS.
LILIAN'S HENS WERE DOING WELL, SHE HAD EGGS TA BOIL AN EGGS TA SELL. ALAS, ALAS, WHAT ROTTEN LUCK, DEY WIR JUST ONE DIET FOR RUSHTON'S DUG.
GOING BACK TO FETLAR, ON THE FERRY BOAT, SOME O' DA DARTS TEAM WERE ACTING THE GOAT. IT WIS JUST FOR FUN, FOR DEY WIR HEARTY, BUT DEY GLUFFED DA BREEKS AFF O' PEERIE BERTIE.
WHIT WE HORSES, FOALS, GOATS AN HENS, EACH HOOSE OOT BY STANDS FULL. HE DID WE DA WIFE'S WASHING MACHINE, WHIT HE COULD'NA DO AS AN A.I. BULL.
WE'LL MIND LAST YEARS UP-HELLY-AA NAE DOUBT, COS' WHEN DA SQUADS CAM' IN, DA POWER WENT OUT.
DA SMOKE HANG LOW IN DA MEADOWS, AND DRIFTED DOON OWER DA BANKS. ON WHARS DA AULD SPADE AND DA TUSHKAR, DAT'S MITCHELL UP TAE HIS PRANKS.
GORDON IS A DEAR OLD MAN WHO WALKS ALONG DA VOE, AND VERY SOON TO SEEK HIM, DA COASTGUARD HAD TO GO. DEY SOUGHT HIM IN DA HILL AA NIGHT, FEARED IT HE HED LOST HIS LIFE. BUT HE WIS GONE TAE COLVISTER FOR DUCKS EGGS TAE DA WIFE.
AT SELLAFIRTH DA ROADMEN AA STOOD IN WINDER, AS JAMIE MOAR'S LEIHBERR BURNED TAE A CINDER.
CHRISTMAS IS A BUSY TIME FOR POSTIES EEN AN' AA, JUST PARK YOUR VAN, GO IN ALONG FOR A DRAM DAT'S AA. BUT BEWARE O' DA BIG DUG DAT RAN, AN' CHOWED DA TYRES O' HIS VAN.
. . . "AT STUD" . . .
ROLL UP! ROLL UP! AND SEE WIR HORSE, HE REALLY IS A SIGHT.
IF HE'S AS BIG AS ADVERTISED, HE'LL GIE DA MARES A FRIGHT.
AFORE YOU PAY OOT A' DAT CASH, JUST ASK, HAVE I BEEN FOOLED?
HE'S MAYBE JUST A NORMAL HORSE, WITH LEGS SEVERELY PULLED.
OH "DANNY BOY" DA "FAROE RUM" IS CALLING, "LAY DE AT DE" IN DA "4 POSTER BED" AN' "SLEEP SOOND IDA MORNING".
ANYONE HAVING AN AUGUST HOLIDAY IN ICELAND, AND ERE ON THE RIGHT TRACK UP BASTA HILL WILL BE HEAD LONG IN TO UNST TRAFFIC.
QUESTION:- DO FISHERMEN CARRY THEIR BED ASHORE AFTER SETTLING UP IN CASE THEY NEED TO SETTLE DOWN?
ANSWER:- I VOR ONE DO.
WANTED:- SHORT TERM WORKERS, IF AND WHEN REQUIRED. SHORT WORKING WEEK. AND DERE SOON COULD BE SHORTER HOURS.
APPLY:- FISH FACTORY.
OILFIELD SEABASES CANNA GET INTO BASTAVOE FOR DAN BUOYS.
DEFACERS OF OUR BILL WILL BE KEIL-HAULED AT DA RAMNA STACKS!
BY ORDER AND UNDER THE SEAL OF THE GUIZER JARL.
