1984

George's Jarl Squad:

• Gordon Jamieson [Fourwinds] (Ex Jarl)
• Alex Moar [Hilden]
• Charlie Tulloch [Fairview]
• Victor Jamieson [Mid Yell]

1984 Proclamation:

ALL GUIZERS REPORT AT BURNSIDE AT 8PM.

OUR JARL WILL BOARD HIS GEORGEOUS LONGSHIP BEFORE THE PROCESSION HAS BEGUNN. ME WILL THEN LEAD THE PROCESSION PAST POLICE STATION NO.1 AND TO STATION NO.2 AND BEING A GOOD GARAGE HAND WILL USE THE SPARE TIME TO APPLY THE FINISHING TOUCHES THERE FOR A SUCCESSFUL EVENING.

DA YEARS GO BY AS AYE DER DONE,
WI VIKING FESTIVALS ONE BY ONE,
COME WELCOME NOW TO ‘84
BETTER THAN ANY GONE BEFORE
AND IF YOU THINK YOU’RE BEING MOLESTED
OR IF YOU NEED YOUR URINE TESTED,
JUST RING UP THE MAN IN BLUE
DA NUMBER’S GUTCHER 222.

DA LAIRD O’ PARKHALL WIS RUNNING ROUND DA HEID,
TRYING TO CATCH A GENNER TO CHANGE DA PARKHALL BREED,
ME MET A LITTLE FERRYMAN WHO SAYS “NO I’LL BE BOUND”
OVER MY HUGE BODY, YOU KNOW “I’VE BEEN AROUND.”

DA CARS AT THE STATION NEGLECTED DID LYE
SO TO GET THEM DISPOSED O’ DA BOYS DEY DID TRY
DEY TOUGH OWER DA BREAKWATER WAS SURE TAE BE DEEP
SO DEY PUSHED DEM OWER WHEN FOLK WERE ASLEEP
BUT DA WATER WAS CLEAR AND I’M SORRY TO SAY
DAT DEY WERE DISCOVERED ON DA GALA DAY
SO A CLEAN SHAVEN FELLOW ON DA MIDDLE O’ DA NIGHT
WADED IN AND PUT THEM ALL OOT O’ SIGHT.

LENNIE CAMETO DA GALA AND HE HAD A DRAM
BUT HE LOST HIS TEETH WHEN THEY GUID DOON DA PAN
WI NO TEETH IT SEEMED DAT DA COURTING WAS OOT
BUT HE SEEMED TO MANAGE FOR HE’S AYE OWER IN GLOUP.

SOMETIMES YOU MAY WIN AT WHISTDRIVE
SOMETIMES YOU JUST GET THE BOOBY
BUT WINDER WHO GOT DA PRIZE
WHEN DEY WERE NONE BUT VINA AND RUBY.

“INCOMERS CALL, BE CO-OPERATIVE”
WE YELL TO LOCAL COUNCILLORS FOR SUPPORT, WHO CAN OOPT FOR A BUTCHERS BUSINESS OR STILL BETTER A SLAUGHTER HOUSE. WE MAC IT LEOD AND CLEAR THAT CO-OPERATORS SHAL£ BE 25000 STRONG OTHERWISE THEY WILL LEWIS THEIR DEPOSITE. MEMBERS WHO FALL FOR THIS MAY BE CLEANED UP BY THE JANITOR OR UPLIFTED BY A YELLOW MINIBUS OR A BLACK TAXI WHICH MAY BE BOBBING ALONG TO PARK AT THE HALL OF CO-OPERATIVE FAME. WE CANNOT BACK EVERY PASTOR WHO SPENDS THE DAY IN WEST SANDWICK SHOPPING AROUND FOR A DWELLING HOUSE.

AND OUR GALA DAY SOME IT BRING SUFFERING AND PAIN
RAISE THE ALARM, A BROKEN ARM, OFF TO THE GILBERT BAIN.

EARTH MOVING DA LENGTH AN BREADTH O’ YELL
IS NO TROUBLE WI A DIGGER
BUT CASTING WI A LEIBHERR
DA PEATS TEND TAE BE BIGGER
IT’S NO SO BAD IN THE TOP MOOR
WHEN YOUR JUST TAKING AFF A SKEEVING
BUT WHEN DOON ON THE THIRD MOOR
YOU GET THAT SINKING FEELING.

SEVEN LITTLE FAMILY CARS STANDING SIDE BY SIDE
EVERYONE WAS RUNNING AND EVERY ONE MOST BIDE
THERE WAS NO SUSPENSION AS THEY STOOD THERE ROW ON ROW
WHAT CONDESCENSION WHEN THEY HAD TO GO.

MR AND MRS WAS GREAT FUN
WITH QUESTION MASTER GEORGE GUNN
NEXT DAY WHEN TAKING IN DA PEAT
HE WISHED THAT HE’D BEEN ON THE BEAT
FOR BROKEN BONES THEY HURT A LOT
AND FLATTER FEET WAS WHAT HE GOT.

SHEARWATER WAS PREPARED TO JUMP
WHILE MICRO CHIP STOOD BY THE PUMP
BUT THEY BATTLED A MIDST DA SMOK
TILL SCOOBY DOO CRIED “WE’VE HIT THE DOCK.”

EXPECTANT LASSIES PLEASE TAKE CARE
AND MAKE SURE THAT THERE IS SOMETHING THERE
ALTHOUGH YOU ARE A  LOVELY PET
YOU SHOULD NOT TAKE DADDY TO THE VET
FALSE ALARM ARE NOT FUNNY
WHEN STUCK IN LERWICK, COSTING MONEY.

A CROFTER FAE GLOUP WI SOME KYE
THOUGHT A CHANGE O BREED HE WID TRY
ME SAYS I’M NAE FOOL, I’LL SHIP ME OLD BULL,
AN TAK A COURSE ON A.I.

IN CONFLICT :- PEOPLE FROM NORTH AND SOUTH YELL ARE RELUCTANT TO BE COUNCILLED OR EVEN LOATH TO HAVE TRUST IN THEM WHO FLY DIFFERENT COLOURS BE THEY YELLOW OR GRAY WHO PROVIDED SUNNY, LEA CONDITIONS FOR RIGGERS IN DALES VOE. THEY ARE NOT PROUD TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH THEM.

HAS THE MADALIA BECOME A FREE FLIT BOAT FOR LOOSE MASONARY?
WILLIE BE LONG IN LODGEING A PROTEST?
WILL CAPT. JACK BE FILLING HAM IN?
ONLY A FERRY TALE!!!

SONG OF THE YEAR:- WHERE HAVE ALL THE PEATS GONE. LONG TIME A-CASTING.

DEFACERS OF THE BILL WILL BE FRISKED AND HAVE THEIR EGGS SNATCHED.

BY ORDER AND UNDER SEAL OF THE GUIZER JARL

GEORGE GUNN

Photos: