1983

Gordon's Jarl Squad:

• George Tulloch [Greenbank] (Ex Jarl)
• George Gunn [Police House] (Future Jarl)
• Michael Henderson [Greenbank Terrace]
• Laurence Tulloch [Gutcher]

1983 Proclamation:

GUIZERS WILL REPORT AT BURNSIDE AT 8p.m.

OUR JARL WILL COMMAND HIS GALLEY WITHOUT HUSTLE OR BUSTLE AND DRIVER FROM ONE FARE STAGE TO ANOTHER. HE WILL NOT TOLERATE GUIZERS ARRIVING FROM THE HERRA IN THEIR SHIRT SLEEVES AFTER DOING THE GAY GORDONS, WHERE ALL AND SUNDRY WILL BE DESPATCHED TO OTTERSWICK AFTER MIDNIGHT, WHERE THEIR JACKETS WILL BE FITTED ACCORDIANG TO THEIR SIZE.

FAE DA' FOUR AERTS DA' WINDS CAN BLAW, TAKIN' WI' HIT RAIN AN' SNAW
WI' BUS 'IR TAXI COME YE AA, WELCOME TAE UP-HELLY-AA.

CREW MEMBERS WHO BORROW FERRY TIME MAY FIND THEMSELVES LANDED IN THE WOODS OR CAST ADRIFT ON THE UNST SHORE.

HE SPED FOR HOME ATWEEN DA' RAILS, DA' FENCING POSTS GOING BY LIKE NAILS. THINKS HE TAE HIMSEL' I'M HAEIN' DIS FUNS, I'LL MAYBE END UP IN DIS GARAGE O' GUNNS.

THE LUSSETTER QUARRY MAY SEEM RIGHT, TO GO COURTING ON A WINTER NIGHT.
IT MAY SEEM AN IDEAL SPOT, BUT A GRANADA IDEA IT WIS NOT.
FOR THE ICE IT WAS TOO THIN, AND ROBERT HE GOT BOGGED IN.

PASSING SELLAFIRTH WITH A LOAD, WHEN WORKMEN ARE BUSY ON THE ROAD,
WATCH IN CASE DA' LORRY SLIDES, AN' TAK'S DA' LEGS FAE THEODOLITES

WAS IT A CUNNING MOVE TO SHOW HIS HAMS, OR WAS IT JUST NORMANLLY THE RESULT OF SEEING HIS PANTS OFF.

OH! DON'T FORGET TO RING HENDERSON'S FOR AN OIL CHANGE

IF THE YELL MUSIC SOCIETY MEET THE MID-YELL BOATING CLUB AT THE HILLTOP BAR TO DISCUSS A SPORTS COMPLEX OVER RAINBOW FRYS, THERE WILL BE NEED FOR A CARE CENTRE.

AS DAE' GEO FREY PLACE TAE PLACE, FUR DA' ESSY CAERT HIT IS A RACE,
SOME O' DA' DRIVERS SAY DAE MUST, TAK A SWIG TAE LAY DA' DUST.
AN' IF DEY TAK' MAIR IS A GLASS, DEY SAY HITS JUST TAE KULE DA' ESS.

ALL MOORIT YOWES GRAZING IN THE TOWNSHIP WILL BE REPORTED TO THE CLERK, WHO WILL IN THIS DAY AND AGE, CONCERN HIMSELF WITH THE REMOVAL OF THE LOT, AND TIE UP THE GATE SO AS TO PREVENT ANY
CUNNING MOVE TO STIR UP ANY HUM AND FRAY IN THE DISTRICT.

A SEA TRIP TO WHALSAY TO A WEDDING,
GIVES ONE AN APPETITE TO EAT SOME.
YOU SHOULD THEN BE ABLE TO TAKE YOUR BOOZE,
AND NOT JUST LIE DOWN FOR A SNOOZE.
DIS GIVES YOU A DERECKT NEED TA' TINK SOME.

HICKERY DICKERY DOCK.
DA MICE' TOOK OWER DA' SHOP.
ROBERT GOT HIM TWA CATS,
AN WAPPIT HIS TRAPS,
NOO DA CATS ARE TAKIN' DA' SHOP.

THEY PUT YELL ON THE MAP, WITH A RECORD TRIP, AND BROKE IT AGAIN ONCE MORE.
BUT SORRY TO SAY A DAMNED GUN BOAT AT PLAY, THOUGH THEIR BOAT WAS FISHING TOO NEAR THE SHORE.

ISLANDERS WHO ARE POWERLESS TO PROTECT THEIR PERISHABLES IN THEIR DARKEST HOUR, SHOULD IN THE LIGHT OF THINGS TO COME, OR NOT TO COME, ARRANGE FOR A LONG LEASE OF ACCOMODATION FROM SHETLAND NORSE, OR TAKE PERIODIC BREAKS ON THE DEEP FREEZING WATERS OF YELL SOUND.

"SELLAFIRTH VISITORS LAMENT"

OH PEERIE MOOSE WHAUR CAM' DUE FAE, AN' IS DOO PLAYIN WHIST DA DAY. YEA I'M JUST BACK FAE CULLIVOE, AN I'M GADDERIN WHEEL NUTS AS I GO.
BIT NOO I FEEL DAT HORRID FAERED, DA FOLK DEY SEEM DAT AWFUL SCARED. BEHINT DA CLOACKROOM SKIRTING HIT WARM AN' SNUG, AN I CANNA' COME OOT FUR LOWRIE'S DUG.

HITS JUST NAE FUN WHEN YOU MEET IN WI' GUNN, AN' YOU DUNNA HAE ON YOUR SEAT BELT.

IT SOUNDED RICH WHEN WE HEARD THAT THERE WOULD BE NO TRUCK WITH AQURIANS WHO MAUN RISE TO THE OCCASION BEFORE ENTERING THE GRAY AREA BE-NORTH-A-VOE, WHEN IN NEED OF THEIR BED BEFORE DESPATCHING FISH FORGETTING THE RULE OFF THE ROAD, DITCHED HER BUT DIDN'T HARMER. DID DA' FERRY SKIPPER HAE HIS FENDERS OOT?

"THINGS WE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW"

1. IS IT POLIC(E)Y TO WATCH YOUR OVEN TEMPERATURE?
2. WHICH SQUAD GATECRASHED AT MEADOWBANK?
3. DID DAMART PRIZEWINNERS GET NEEDLED
4. IS THERE A NEED FOR A DOUBLE WIDTH ROAD WHEN THE SELLAFIRTH P.O. IS CLOSED.

DEFACERS OF OUR BILL WILL HAVE THEIR CHASSIS STEAM CLEANED AND BRUSHED UP

BY ORDER AND UNDER THE SEAL OF THE GUIZER JARL

GORDON JAMIESON

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